My diagnosis was scary but had a sense of relief. I was not alone. Other people live with the same mental illness that I do. Truth: I just replaced suffer with the word live.
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Prose & Poetry
I found solace and built confidence in accepting who I am, and surrounding myself with individuals who looked at me the same way that I looked at myself, for who I am.
This face art I did was a tribute to my mother who also has depression and anxiety. Her description to me was 1/4 a face happy, 1/4 sad, 1/4 courage, 1/4 fear.
Is this what a doctor feels like when they "did everything they could" to save someone's life and ultimately lose them? But what more could I have done, really? What more can anyone do when someone sees death as the only solution to a life of pain? We can’t control someone else’s actions. We can’t “fix” anyone else, no matter how hard we might try. I know that I did everything in my power to support her. But I still feel like a helpless six-year-old fatherless child all over again.
But 2 weeks after discharge, I attempted something more serious. I tried to jump under a train. The police helped me down but all in all I attempted suicide 7 times and I am here now 18 months later very happy and very confident.