Too many fear living more than they fear dying and are suffering such terrible mental anguish.
Viewing entries tagged
suicide
Even though it has been almost two years since Steve took his own life, there are those who still do not agree with my talking freely about his suicide. Yes, the embarrassment and stigma associated with suicide is still alive and well.
I made up lies for why I was upset and anger all the time, so I didn’t look weak! Didn’t help me out at all, people started finding out and I just started hating myself, asking myself why would I, I’m just a disappointment. I just didn’t know why I was upset.
Lately, I have been thinking a lot about what it means to quit, and about the complicated and often conflicting valuations society tends to place on that. If I am being honest I will tell you there is a whole host of things I have wanted to quit in my life, and some (like smoking) I’ve done successfully and without regret.
I woke up one day and realized that I couldn’t take much more. I was done feeling hopeless and worthless. I was done with the exhaustion no amount of sleep could fix. I was done with the intrusive thoughts. I was done, period. I started becoming reckless. I didn’t want to die; I was scared of it. I just yearned for an end to my constant pain.