Today is a new day. Pay no attention to who I was yesterday, or last week, it might as well be another person. Today is just another excruciating day in this war. Another fight. Another chance to win or another day of being beaten within an inch of my life… It is only when I close my eyes at night I find some peace of mind. I awake again to fight. The war seems to never end. I can see no end to this nightmare. But I refuse to give up. Each day of my life I will stand and fight. But some days I just don't have the energy to fight. But I promise I'll try to fight as hard as I can. I will wrestle my demons until my last dying breath. But please just understand that sometimes I grow weary. I am tired all the time, even before I get out of bed.
I may seem alright if I muster the courage to attend your event or be by your side but there's a battlefield inside my head. I'll listen to your story as I endure this fight with all my might. I can hear the voices roaring inside my head, thoughts screaming to be let out. I can hear bullets and explosions as my army tries to fight off the enemy and defend what little of me I have left. It's exhausting to constantly live in this state of mind. A beauty trapped inside her troubled mind.
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