Natasha

Originally from Georgia, I took an interest in the arts at an early age. After serving time in the military, I was officially diagnosed with BPD, PTSD, and bipolar disorder. At this time I began experiencing more severe symptoms such as: episodes of anger & violence, more urges to self harm, more thoughts about suicide, and experiencing hopelessness that consumed me and made it hard for me to smile sincerely, feed myself, be close to others, and even worst love or care about myself. I was unable to hide the symptoms and they began to tear my life apart. I began to lose friends, destroy my marriage, and I even became distant from my immediate family.

During this stress and detachment period, I started back self harming by cutting and burning myself in times of great emotional distress. In the midst of this I knew I had to find healthy ways to cope, this is what my doctors wanted and it's kind of what I wanted. I was so tired of dealing with the chaos that was distorting my thoughts inside my head. I had to find new ways to cope with all the pain so I started exploring the arts.

Writing was definitely my first love and had been long before I was diagnosed with mental illness. I naturally gravitated towards writing and poured every bit of my heart, along with all the chaos and pain I was experiencing into anything I wrote. Being diagnosed, having to take medications everyday, having to make sure I get sleep, having to make sure I eat the right foods, and I don't put myself in triggering situations, etc has given me a whole new way perspective about my journey with these mental illnesses. I aim to de-stigmatize mental illness and be a voice for other women and men of all nationalities from all over the world who may be suffering in silence. Though everyday is a struggle even now, I push forward when I can and I go from there. I stay busy writing, singing, going to the movies, and exploring new forms of art. I am currently learning how to play ukulele to help me express myself in healthy ways.

One of my main focuses right now is picking up the pieces of my shattered life due to mental illness and making the best of what I have left. Even though, I have been experiencing discrimination due to my mental illness at my school and I have no friends, and I may have a soon to be ex husband but I am trying so hard to keep my eyes on the prize. I can and will continue writing my upcoming memoir on the deadly diseases I have been dealing with. I will continue to talk about my years of struggles with mental illness and self-harm, how it changed my life, and how I am having to rebuild my life and knowledge about mental health at the age of 24, because mental health matters and others should be made aware. No one should suffer alone or in silence. I proudly wear my scars, I take my meds daily, I go to therapy, I avoid certain food & going certain places and I seek help from my support team (my family) when needed. I have to take care of me. I am warrior, a lover of all things good,and having mental illness is just a part of my journey. <3

 

 

 

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