John was a delightful and happy child who was full of energy; everyone who knew him loved him. His depression started when he turned 14. He turned to drugs in an attempt to escape his darkness. Of course that only made things worse for him. John had Bipolar Disorder and when he was up, he was amazing, but when he was down he became suicidal. John tried to kill himself 5 times before he was horribly successful. I am writing this because when my beloved son John turned to mental health clinicians they didn't take him seriously mostly because he was so honest about his drug use and also because he was good at "faking it". When he went to a well know drug treatment program and they found out he had a history of suicide attempts, they kicked him out of their program. Unfortunately, John was far smarter and more clever than I was and when he decided he was going to kill himself the last time, he pretended that everything was ok so I wouldn't put him back into a hospital. 

If the majority of the clinical community wasn't so prejudiced against people who turn to drugs to "numb out" John and many others like him would still be here.

I have founded a non-profit center for teens and young adults like John to get the integrated treatment they need and can afford, and to address their addiction and mental illness. Our treatment center doesn't turn anyone away regardless of ability to pay. Please visit our website www.thecaar.org. Remember, even though you may think suicide is a solution and that it will make others lives less chaotic, you will be throwing them into a black hole of pain from which there is no escape.

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