Suicide a word that has been made into a joke because of our society. People joke around, saying things like “kill yourself” and “you have no worth.” The list goes on and on. What happens when someone actually goes through with the idea of suicide, then what? You don’t think you have affected someone until you never see them again, or you hear about their death by suicide.
What happens with anxiety and panic attacks? People experience them all the time, and I am one of those people. You just want to be alone and scream and cry until there is nothing left in you, no emotion, nothing. Sometimes people just want to stop all the pain. They think that people would be happier with them not on this earth anymore, if they just vanish and go poof, like a magic trick.
20% of teens have anxiety attacks almost everyday. Almost half of them, teen girls. I am one of those teens who suffer from depression, anxiety and suicidal thoughts. The list can go on and on. It’s as if I have voices in my head and they won’t leave, telling me I am worthless and shouldn’t be on this earth anymore. What do I do if I listen to the voices? What does anyone do? Medication may feel like it is helping, but it just numbs the pain and emotions. What happens when the numbness goes away? You are left with the bad thoughts, the bad feelings, the bad emotions.
Everybody wants to be happy, but some of us just fake it to please other people, so they don't ask questions when we are desperately begging and crying for help. We just don’t know how to ask or we feel like we can handle it. That is, until you finally break and everything comes tumbling down on you. It feels as if you have even more to deal with, stress piles up. It is as if you are responsible for every little thing and every little detail and you just want to be a kid, but life for us is different than others. We feel as if we aren’t enough to be happy, loved or even cared about. We feel like we are a waste of air and space. We try to be happy and positive, but underneath that smile is a cry wanting to come out.
We don’t want to be judged about our depression and anxiety, we want to be normal. We just want to be kids being kids. Not being an adult at 14 or 15. We want to be loved and cared about, but we need to care about each other. We want a voice. We feel like our voice is not heard. It is, we just don’t see it.
We have voices to talk about this. It isn’t a joke, so let’s not make it one. I am one voice of millions suffering with depression and anxiety. We need to help each other.