The last year and a half was crazy. In April of 2018, I was kicked out of my home due to problems with family.
I had nowhere to go, my family was all against me and no one wanted to help me out. I ended up having to sleep in my car for 2 months. It was lonely, it was cold, I didn’t have anyone to turn to.
I barely had any money, even driving for Uber, I spent every last dime on music. I was into fitness, so I had a lot of protein powder. That which ended up being my meal for those two months, (let me tell you, drinking 3 protein shakes a day to get full was not something fun). When I needed to shower, I showered at the gym just to get by.
Then one night, I was heading home from the studio. I had a late night session with Bryan (an engineer at the studio I go to). I got into an accident.
At that moment I hit my lowest point. My car was my home, the way I made money, my safe place. I was hit and had no where to go. I thought I was gonna be on the streets, homeless.
Until one of my friends and his family allowed me to live with them until I got back on my feet. It was crazy because we weren’t close, I only knew him because he dated my girlfriend’s sister. I was sleeping on his floor and was grateful but I was very depressed. I felt hopeless, felt like I was in the biggest hole of my life.
Depression took over and I didn’t know what to do. My anxiety was through the roof. I spent every night, thinking bout suicide. I felt like I let myself down, I was living in regret.
My friend told me to get back to writing music. After that accident, I wasn’t myself. I felt like I was off, writing, singing, just being creative. He allowed me to use his room as a time to write while he was at work. After days and days of nothing I stumbled upon a beat and wrote a song that saved my life. I wrote “Save You”.
It was weird to think that being bottled up for 2 months, writing something so honest, so pure was the cure. I wrote the song and everything felt okay. I gained back hope, I felt like myself.
I continued writing day after day & started getting off my feet. It’s been a year now and I’m currently staying in LA to write songs with some friends.
It’s crazy to think that after all I’ve been through, the path I took, that I’m still here till this day because of sound. Mental health is important, some don’t understand. Being a creative, all you have is your art. That’s what gets you by. Thank you for listening to my story.
Find James on Twitter at @JamesKahil